9 Signs of a Growing Christian

Things that are alive grow.  Dead things don’t.

If you are alive in Christ, then you are also growing in Him and in your Christian walk.  What does that growth look like and how do you make sure you stay on the path of a growing Christian?  Here are some suggestions to look for and to practice.

1.  Spiritual disciplines, like praying, reading scripture, and going to church, become less of a chore and more enjoyable.

All of a sudden you have to miss church one week and you feel a huge hole in your week.  You start to get this discontented feeling and you realize it is because you haven’t prayed in a few days or read scripture all week.  These kinds of feelings are a sign that you are growing in your faith.  God gave us these things to help sustain us in the Christian life and the closer a relationship we have with Him, the more we crave these things.  We really begin to enjoy our time in God’s word or talking with Him.  Without it, it would almost be like starving.

2.  You are finding people you feel compelled to share the Gospel with.

Word of mouth has always been one of the best forms of advertisement.  When something good happens to people, they want to talk about it.  The same is true with God.  If you are growing toward Him and seeing your life transformed, you are going to want to share it not only with other Christians, but especially with those who don’t have a relationship with Him.  You won’t be able to keep your mouth shut about Jesus.

3.  You are building a network of intimate Christian relationships.

You quickly find that your relationships with other Christians is different than your relationships with non-believers.  Most guys wouldn’t go up to their non-believer friend and say, “I think I’m addicted to porn.  Will you help keep me accountable as I struggle through this?”  As we walk with Christ, though, we realize that we can’t do this life alone.  Our Christian friends understand that fire that burns inside of us and know how hard it is to be a Christian in our crazy world.  As you let go of pride and trust issues in your life, you will find more and more people who you can open up to and share life with.

4.  You find yourself going to God more and more when you are in a crisis.

Even as a mature believer, I find myself sometimes going to God only after nothing else has worked.  We all do that from time to time and when we call on God and He answers our prayer, we feel like a moron for not going to Him sooner.  But overall, as you grow as a Christian, you should find yourself going to God sooner and more often.  It comes with calling on Him and seeing Him work over and over.  Once you begin to realize how much He does hear us and care for us, you will feel more comfortable turning to Him.

5.  Your heart becomes burdened.  

Asking to see people and the world like God sees them is a great prayer, but be prepared for feeling a heavy burden for what you see.  As your sight becomes more like that of Jesus, you will begin to notice the poor on the streets or the news reports about kids in Africa.  You will begin to see injustice and you will crave Godly justice in your life.  I’ve always had a heavy heart for teenagers who don’t come from homes where they have anyone they can talk to.  But since coming to Jesus, I’ve developed a heart for the elderly and for seeing women become all that God made them to be, even though in my life before coming to Jesus, old people scared me and in college, I was the anti-feminist.

6.  You become less attached to material things.

As you start to see the world with eternal eyes, accumulation of wealth and possessions seems more and more fruitless.  Even if you still have a drive for these things, it often changes into working for things to be used in God’s Kingdom.  You buy a bigger house not so much for the status as you do because now you have extra bedrooms where people could stay or you could care for a foster child.  You realize that the things that matter can’t be touched with you hands, only your heart.

7.  You begin to serve instead of being the one who is served.

When you first come to Christ, you need people to talk to about what you are going through and to help you learn what the Gospel and Jesus is all about.  You rely on different ministries to help guide your family or to help you get closer to Jesus.  As you begin to grow, instead of being the consumer and consuming all the different ministries, you become a producer and begin to help out or even start your own ministries.  As you grow closer to Jesus, it is natural to want to serve more and more.

8.  You start to see yourself as a really awful person.

This one sounds really miserable, but it actually is really freeing.  Most people who are Christians would consider themselves pretty good people.  But as you begin to learn God’s nature and see how much our broken world troubles Him, you begin to see the weaknesses in your own life and see how far you are from where God wants you to be.  Just like the old adage about the more you learn the more you realize how little you know, the more we follow God, the more we realize how far away from Him we are.

9.  You become more humble.

Even though seeing how awful we are sets us up for being more humble, there is more to it than that.  Yes, part of it is realizing, as the apostle Paul said, that we are the worst among sinners.  But there also is a component of lifting others above yourself.  As we grow toward Christ, we realize how little other people’s opinions of us matter and we are freer to encourage and compliment other people because we no longer feel like we need to be the best person in the room.  When we become more humble, we also find it easier to forgive others and to accept forgiveness ourselves.

 

Think back on your walk with Christ.  What were some signs that you recognized that showed you were growing in your faith?

12 Neat Christian Places to Visit

I love road trips.  I also love really cool places to visit.  Make it Christian, and I’m there!

Here are some awesome places for Christians to visit, some standard, some a little weird.  I’ve been to a few of these places.  Others I’ve seen in documentaries or in books and are on my bucket list to visit.  Look through these and if there are any that I’ve missed, please add them in the comments section.  Hopefully these inspire at least a couple of road trips!

1.  Jerusalem (Israel)  Okay, so this has to be on my list, even though it is markedly different than the other things listed.  Definitely requiring a little more travel planning than just a road trip, it is one place I would like to see in my lifetime.  I want to see the mountains and seas that different Bible events happened on.  I want to see where they think Jesus was crucified.  I want to see all these places for real.  I’m not going to lie, though.  The political upheaval in Israel makes me nervous about going.  Maybe at some point before I die it will calm down over there and I’d feel better about going.

2.  Creation Museum (Petersburg, KY)  This is a place I’ve been many, many times and recommend every Christian see at least once.  If nothing else, it is one of the best detailed museums, secular or Christian, I’ve ever been in.  So many Christian attractions look amateurish and cheesy, but this place is top notch.  And the people behind the theology of this place, Answers In Genesis, are extremely literal in their Bible interpretation.  I’m not sure that I agree with the level of literalness they do and their insistence that you need to believe the creation story exactly like they do in order to be a Christ follower is cloying, but it is interesting to see the result of what they believe.  The place is pricey so take advantage of any discounts you can.  And if you can, go in the spring or summer to get the full effect of their gardens, which are almost as spectacular as the museum itself.

3.  Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Monastery (Munster, IN)  You are going to see a trend here in the things I post.  I love when people get a crazy idea from God to build something really cool.  This is one of those places.  Called “ultraviolet apocalypse” by roadsideamerica.com, likely because of the couple of black light features in the shrines, this place is like nothing I’ve ever seen before.  There are two main shrines, one for the death and resurrection of Jesus and one for Mary.  I’ll be honest, the Mary one freaked me out a little because of how over devoted to Mary it seemed.  There were also walking paths and a church on the property.  I went on a Sunday morning and had to go into the gift shop in the church to find someone to turn on the lights for me.  I don’t know if that is how it normally is, but be prepared to hunt around for someone to turn it on.

4.  Ave Maria Grotto (Cullman, AL)  I don’t know what it is about Catholics and building crazy awesome religious things, but this is another example of that.  Brother Joseph Zoettl built what is called a “little Jerusalem” on the grounds of a Benedictine abbey.  This little Jerusalem are famous churches and other religious buildings from around the world crafted in a wide variety of materials gathered from around the world.  It is a neat expression of art to experience, but knowing that this man spent 40 years working on this project out of his devotion to God makes me stand back in awe.

5.  Salvation Mountain (Niland, CA)  I’ve never been here, but I’ve seen it highlighted in many documentaries over the past few years.  Created by a man living out of his truck, Salvation Mountain is a monument to God’s great love.  Definitely a piece of outdoor folk art, it’s another one of those things that you just stand back and marvel at one man’s devotion to worshiping the God he loves.  The artist has recently died and while there are people right now maintaining it, I worry that I won’t be able to make it to California to see it before it ends up in disrepair.  

6.  Museum of Religious Arts, King of Kings Wax Collection (Logan, IA)  So many cool religious places are now closed and have fallen into disrepair.  Whether it was because of the economy or changing interests, many of the old attractions are withering away with time.  This museum, though, believes that the “most beautiful art in the world was created out of religious fervor” and their goal is to save these things from being lost.  Featuring stained glass windows, wax statues and outdoor displays, this is definitely a place I want to check out!

7.  Grotto of the Redemption (West Bend, IA)  Another place located in Iowa, one of only 10 states I haven’t visited.  This is in the tradition of the other rock and concrete grottos, but has more Bible events honored in the actual rock faces than just about any other grotto I know of.  From scenes representing the Holy Trinity, to Michael the Archangel and the Garden of Eden, this place looks like one where someone could spend time pondering our Biblical history and the glory of God throughout time.

8.  Museum of Divine Statues (Lakewood, OH)  From what I understand, this is a fairly new museum.  It was created by a makeup artist that was interested in preserving the statues and other art from old churches that were being torn down.  He uses his background in makeup artistry to refurbish these original pieces of art and they are on display for people to see.  If you are at all interested in religious statues, wood carvings and church art, this is a place to see!

9.  Biblewalk and Living Bible Museum (Mansfield, OH)  Using life size dioramas, you can walk through the life of Jesus, Miracles of the Old Testament, a Museum of Christian martyrs and the Reformation.  Seeing as how many of the neat religious attractions on this list are Catholic in origin, it is nice to have a few of Protestant backing.  This is one that I plan on taking my kids to this summer since I’ve never been but have heard a tremendous amount about.

10.  Christ in the Smokies Museum and Gardens (Gatlinburg, TN)  Gatlinburg is a huge tourist destination and with it’s position in eastern TN, you know it is going to have something Christ related to see.  This is another tour of the Bible using life size dioramas to depict events from the Bible and beautiful gardens to enjoy in the spring and summer.  Affordably priced, this is a must see for anyone passing through the area.

11.  Crystal Shrine Grotto (Memphis, TN)  On the grounds of a cemetery is where you will find this man-made cave containing various depictions of the life of Jesus.  The mixed media art produced by a Mexican folk artist creates a calm and relaxing place to meditate on Jesus and His time here on Earth.  Filled with natural crystals, this place creates an environment unlike any other.

12.  Shrine of Christ’s Passion (St. John, IN)  This last place is pretty spectacular.  In fact, if it was closer, I would make a yearly trip there right before Easter and walk it’s paths.  This outdoor shrine follows Jesus’ path from the Last Supper through the Resurrection, telling the story in rock and bronze statues.  You can actually sit at the table where Jesus is doing the Last Supper, pray beside Him at Gethsemane, and fall down in worship at His resurrection.  Because of it’s setting, it adds an entire new dimension to the story of Christ’s passion.

 

So, are there any that I’ve missed?  Are there any neat Christian places you’ve been that you would like to share with my other readers?  Write about them in the comments below!

 

Three Things We Can Learn from St. Patrick

I’m a German girl.  German-American. With the exception of one 9th great grandmother from Denmark, all of the branches from my family tree wind their way back to Germany.  Oktoberfest is my crazy ethnic holiday.  At the end of September …

7 Things I Learned Doing Youth Ministry

God called me into youth ministry several years ago and I spent a few years hanging out with the teens and helping them find their place in God’s family.  Even though it’s been a few years since I’ve done youth …

Dads and Anger: You’re Not the Only One

A few years ago, while spending the day with a friend, we all sat down to lunch together, her and I, our kids, and her husband, who happened to be home.  I know her husband well.  He’s normally a very gentle, mild-mannered guy.  I’ve seen him frustrated and I’ve seen him angry and hurt, but it’s always very controlled, very rational, very Christ-like.

After praying over the meal, my kids started goofing off at the table with their friend.  I’ve always drilled table manners into my kids because meal time is so important in our house.  So I gently reminded them that all the same rules that apply at home apply at their friend’s house too.  They straightened up.  When their friend started goofing off again, his dad stepped in and reminded his son that he is expected to remember his table manners when his friends are over as well.  He obeyed his dad and we resumed our conversation.

About five minutes later, when the kids were almost finished eating, my kids’ friend started goofing off at the table again.  His normally very gentle, mild-mannered father snapped, grabbed a fistful of his son’s shirt, yanked him from the table into the corner in one smooth jerk and yelled at his son.  I jumped in my seat!  Yes, I’m really sensitive to anger, even when it’s not directed at me, but I’ve never seen my friend’s husband in that light.  I was shocked!  Never in a million years would have expected him to respond like that!

I see it in my husband as well.  He comes from a long line of men who have one emotion:  anger.  If they are mad, they show their anger.  But if they are sad, they show anger.  If they are worried, they show anger.  If they are disappointed, they show anger.  Heck, I’ve even seen times when they should be happy and they show anger.

My husband is a wonderful Christ-like man who expects more of himself than that and wants to show his family and the world the love and care expected of a Christ-like husband.  He still, though, especially when he’s not at his best, like when he’s sleepy or not feeling well or really stressed out, falls back into that default setting of getting angry at everything.  And even though he tries his best to not let it happen, it often slips into his parenting.  The kids will do something wrong or make a mistake and out of no where comes this burst of anger from my husband, even though he tries his best to keep it in check.

Once I started paying attention to this fatherly anger, I saw it everywhere.  I’ll never forget seeing the dad, with his face beet red, screaming on the sidelines at his five year old son who forgot about “zone defense” at a kindergarten basketball game.  I have seen dads at the store smacking the kids in the back of the head for fighting with their siblings.  Dads are at the park screaming at their kids and belittling them for playing too close to the river.  I even know a man in his 70’s who still carries around baggage about his dad always telling him he was a good-for-nothing idiot.

I don’t know of any father who has not really struggled with bursting out in anger at their kids.

Apparently, this isn’t a new problem.

Ephesians 5:21-6:9 is a set of instructions that the apostle Paul wrote for how to treat one another in a household.  What is interesting about this is he takes different roles, husband, wife, children, father, master and slave (today, it’s boss and employee), and gives them the one command that is likely most difficult for someone in that position to do in a relationship.

The first verse of this passage, 5:21 says we should submit to one another out reverence to Christ.  It’s a reminder that everyone, regardless of role or hierarchy, should be serving one another like we would serve Christ.  Most of us know the rest of these commands pretty well:  husbands love your wife (she is more than a sex toy and dishwasher…actually love her), wives respect your husbands and submit to him (don’t be the nagging, hen-pecking wife that always puts her husband down), children obey your parents (if mom telling you five times to pick up your socks doesn’t get you moving, well now the Bible is telling you to as well), slaves obey your masters (which echos Colossians 3:23 about doing your work for the Lord, not just to please human masters), and masters treat you slaves fairly (in other words, don’t be a crappy boss to work for).

If you notice, though, what does this scripture about fathers say?  “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  Exasperate typically means angering or annoying, but it also can mean to roughen something up, making it uneven or prickly.

Since the apostle Paul mentions the most difficult command for other relationships in this passage, we can assume that even back in the first century, dads had trouble containing their anger toward their children.  How many dads throughout the years have explained away their anger toward their children by saying, “I’m just toughening them up”?  Yet this passage tells us that this anger based parenting not only hurts your children, but harms their training and instruction of the Lord.

Now, some of you may be ready to dismiss me saying, “I don’t want my boys to grow up to be over sensitive pansies.  I want them to be tough and manly”.  But what better examples of “tough and manly” is a boy going to see than in the Bible?  There are some rough and tough guys doing some pretty manly, testosterone charged things in the Bible.  The Bible also shows those men in their struggles too.  How much richer of an experience in manhood is your son going to have if you sit down and study these men of the Bible with him, looking at their good times and bad, and being able to talk about them with your son?  How would you have preferred you father to treat you?

The same goes for your daughters.  The biggest determiner of who your daughter will give her heart to is what she has seen come from her father.  If you allow your anger to consume you when she makes a mistake or even out right disobeys you, she will likely let every man in her life treat her that way.  Do you want some man screaming at your daughter, calling her all kinds of names, because she knocks over a glass of grape juice on the carpet?  If you want better for her, it needs to start with you.

Don’t forget either, whether with your sons or daughters, that when they hear about “God our Father”, they are going to define that word “Father” by whatever example you have shown them.  Are you an even-tempered, loving father?  That is how they will see God.  Are you an angry father who is waiting for any excuse to fly off the handle?  That is how they will see God.  Are you absent?  They may not understand God the Father at all.  Obviously, you don’t have to be perfect, and one of the greatest things you can share with your children is your failings as well as your triumphs, but know that the pattern your children see over time is the one they will always try to attribute to God.

So, what are dads to do?  How do they get control of this anger and be the father that God calls them to be?  Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

1.  Recognize what is really anger and what is actually other emotions.  Many men think they feel angry all the time, but they are really feeling disappointment, sadness, shame, frustration or some other negative emotion.  Take some time to think back on times when you’ve let your anger get the best of you.  Were you really angry every time or were you just using anger as a way to show frustration or some other emotion?  Beginning to get a handle on what you are really feeling can help you respond more appropriately in all situations, not just the ones with your children.

2.  Deal with the root problem.  Are you really that mad at your kids, or have you let frustration with your wife or your boss build up and your kids just happened to be the pin that popped your over-filled balloon of frustration?  Are you really mad at your kids or are you really yelling at yourself for doing the same thing as a child that your child is doing now?  You can try to react more lovingly to your children all day long, but if you never address the cause of your stress or irritation, you’ll always be prone to blow ups.  Take the time to resolve whatever the real cause of your stress and frustration is and you will be a much calmer person in all the areas of your life.

3.  Surround yourself with fathers you admire or who are striving to be Godly fathers as well.  I’m sure even if you had the greatest dad ever, you can still make a list of his failings.  Especially if your father wasn’t a true follower of Christ, you need examples to look at and godly men to guide you.  Develop relationships with these kinds of men, go and do things with them, and make sure to talk about life from time to time.

4.  If you need professional help, go and get it.  This is probably the hardest thing to admit, but humbling yourself and taking a step in this direction will bring results better than you can ever imagine.  Especially if you can’t seem to control your anger, if you see yourself becoming abusive or if your anger is wrapped up in a drug or alcohol dependency, you need to seek a professional.  Your pastor is a good place to start.  That may be as far as you need to go, or if they think you need more help, they will be able to recommend good Christian counselors or programs for you to take part in.  If you happen to be a pastor and don’t feel like you have anyone to go to, seek out another pastor or a mature Christian father in your church who has raised kids and knows what it is like.  They may help you get perspective and decide whether your problem requires more extensive help.

5.  Keep up on your prayer time and rest!  These two things are spiritual disciplines that all Christians, but especially men, seem to struggle with.  God is your lifeline.  Christ is your salvation.  The Holy Spirit is your guidance.  If you aren’t connecting regularly with God in a meaningful, personal way, you are setting yourself up for failure.  We also forget about God’s command for a Sabbath rest.  In our busy lives, especially as parents, rest gets shoved to the side.  Remember, being well rested is just as important as any other spiritual discipline.  You can’t be a Godly man without it!

The time and energy you put into being a Godly father is something you and your family will reap the rewards of for years to come.  Fight through the trouble and be the father you want to be.

5 Ways to NOT Seek God

I hear a lot from people who either feel far from God or who say they are waiting for God to show Himself to them before they decide to be a Christian.  They seem to be searching for something more tangible, but they never quite seem able to grasp what they are looking for.  Instead of writing one more blog post that attempts to show people how to seek God’s face, let’s try something different and see if that helps.

So….here are 5 ways to NOT seek God.

1.  Get yourself cleaned up before you go to church.  I’m not referring to taking a bath.  I’m talking about the people who feel like they have to get control of their drinking, drugging, or whatever before they start going to church.  They are under the opinion that church is a gathering place for saints instead of a gathering place for sinners.  That is simply NOT true!  There is no better place to drag your mess into than a grace-based, Gospel preaching church.  Chances are good that someone there has done something or been in a situation worse than yours.  And what do you think the most effective way to deal with your sin or bad situation is…deal with it alone, or deal with it with a church family supporting you and Jesus giving you the strength to heal?

2.  Start doing everything a Christian should do as soon as possible.  Thirty minutes of Bible reading a day, going to church every Sunday, throwing away all your old music and only listening to worship CDs, an hour of prayer in the morning and an hour of prayer before bed, tithing 10%, or 15%, or 20%, serving in every ministry at church, etc.  These things are all good ideas individually, but some of us live in the extremes, and “boom”, want to be a new person by tomorrow, so we try to change everything at once.  We even hear testimonies of people who supposedly changed in an instant and were completely new people.  That is not how most people are, though.  Most people need to ramp things up slowly if they are going to become habits.  Maybe pick one thing a month to focus on and go from there.  If you try too hard to change too fast, you are setting yourself up for failure and run the risk of burnout and putting more distance between you and God.  Focus on one thing and integrate it slowly.  Following Christ is a marathon, not a sprint.

3.  Open the Bible up to random page and expect God to speak to you through it.  I’m not going to lie.  I’ve done this before.  God has even spoken to me this way a few times.  More often than not, though, if I open the Bible up to a random page expecting an answer, I’m just going to end up closing the Bible and putting it away discouraged.  It’s not tarot cards, people.  You don’t draw a card (or a page) and expect it to tell your future.  More often than not, systematic, thorough Bible study speaks volumes more than opening a random page and expecting a magical verse to pop out at you.

4.  Pretending like you have your life all together.  Sometimes, people have trouble seeking God because they refuse to admit how screwed up their life really is.  Think about it, if you are putting this mask of perfection on for the world to see, is that mask not just another layer between who you are and who God is?  Good Christians have screwed up lives.  So do bad Christians.  So does everybody.  Your perfection puts you on a pedestal that separates you from others, even other “perfect” people, since if you let anyone get to close to you, they might find out the truth.  Your weakness humbles you, puts you on the ground, so you are closer to others.    When it comes to seeking God, the separation is even worse because you know if you even as much as acknowledge God’s perfection, it will knock you off the pedestal you put yourself on.  Pretending like your life is perfect is only going to isolate you.

5.  Study God more.  I’m sure there are people whose gut reaction to this one is to argue it, but think about it.  If you really want to know the president or a celebrity, if you want a genuine relationship with them, do you go check out a bunch of books about them from the library, or do you try to arrange situations where you meet the person?  Now, you obviously need to know some about the person to be able to predict where they will be, but throwing yourself into stacks of research simply for research sake is not going to get you any closer to the person you want a relationship with.  You actually have to get up off your butt and arrange some way to meet them.  The same goes with God.  You can park your butt in a Bible study for 20 years where you let your intellectualism create an armor plate around your heart or you can put yourself out in the field serving Him.  Where are you going to have the greatest likelihood of seeing God work?  Bible study obviously isn’t bad, but the person out in the field who depends daily on the provision of God is going to have more opportunity to see Him move.

Are there any other things that people assume will help them know God but in practice don’t work?  Do you have any stories to share about any of these methods of trying to see God?  Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below!

How to Be Friends with a Non-Believer

It makes me sad that I have to write a post like this, but I hear so many Christians saying dumb things about “non-believers” that I think we could all use a refresher on relationships and being friends with people who believe differently than we do.

1.  Relationship should be the goal of your friendship, not conversion or conquest.  Yes, Jesus told us to spread the good news, but Christianity is a relationship based faith.  Hammering your non-believing friend with Bible verses and “logic” all the time is going to push them away.  Be ready if God chooses you as the tool that brings your friend to Jesus, but don’t think just because you have a non-Christian friend that you HAVE to be the tool He uses.

2.  The only difference between you and them is that you have Jesus and they don’t.  Being a Christian doesn’t make you better than them, smarter than them, or more moral than them.  In God’s eyes, you either sin or you are perfect.  Jesus was the only perfect one, so you are in the same group with every other sinner in the world.  It doesn’t matter how you are disobedient.  You are disobedient, period.  The difference is you’ve accepted the gift of Jesus as your sacrifice and they haven’t yet.  Nothing will ruin a relationship faster than a “holier than thou” attitude.

3.  Respect their beliefs even if you don’t agree with them.  I have a family member who is a New Age practitioner.  He reads tea leaves and tarot cards and calls himself an “intuitive”.  I think that stuff is bunk, and not just because the Bible says it, but because I went through a New Age phase before coming to Christ and tried tarot cards and crystals and divination and none of it ever was of any benefit except to the highly suggestible.  With that said, though, I respect my family member’s beliefs and his right and ability to choose the beliefs that he feels best suit his life.  I care about him as a person and his beliefs are part of who he is.  If he ever mentions any interest in Jesus, you better believe I’ll be right there ready to lay my “spiel” on him, but otherwise, I accept it as part of who he is.

4.  At the same time, respect your own beliefs.  Don’t be obnoxious about it, but don’t compromise you beliefs just because you are around a non-believer.  You may think you are making things more comfortable, but all you are doing is showing them that you don’t believe strongly enough in what you believe to stick to it.  You’ll look like a hypocrite.  And if the time comes when God does want you to minister to them, it will be harder for them to accept what you have to say as worthwhile.

5.  Don’t pretend to be perfect.  Sometimes Christians think they have to represent Christ to the world and the only way to do that is to act like when you are a Christian, you don’t have any problems.  Nothing is more obnoxious than someone who is constantly trying to show you how perfect they are.  Your life probably had more peace and joy after coming to Christ, but all your problems didn’t go away.  You still struggle with whatever sins you had before coming to Christ.  You still get into fights with you spouse.  You still have doubts and questions.  Jesus doesn’t need you to be perfect.  He already is.  If you become perfect, you won’t need Him.

6.  Don’t pretend like you have all the answers.  If your non-believing friend does ask you questions about Christianity, chances are they are going to be the hard questions.  It is far better to say, “I don’t know,” than to give an illogical, overly simplistic answer that you had to memorize in Sunday school as a kid.  And if you do have the answer to a hard question, treat them gently, listen to their follow up questions and be willing to discuss, not debate, your answer.

7.  Listen to the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit will guide you in any times that may be difficult.  There may be times when a friend offends you because your beliefs are different from theirs and, knowingly or unknowingly, you step on each other’s toes.  The Holy Spirit will guide you about whether to let it go or to confront your friend.  You should listen to the Holy Spirit in every relationship, but especially when the correct answer isn’t obvious, the Holy Spirit can provide insight that no one else could know.

Did I miss anything?  Do you have a story about a relationship with a non-believer that has gone well or gone bad because of faith?  Comment below and share your thoughts!

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